Coming out

When it comes to being a high schooler in particular and a teenager in general, we are going to go through a lot of chances, both physically and mentally. And an aspect of that is in regards to the idea of exploring our sexual orientation, where we start to figure out what genders do we fit in and what genders are we attracted to. And let me tell you one thing: it is completely normal for you to be attracted to a person of the same gender as you. I do understand the fact that in many countries, the idea of homosexuality and the LGBT community is still a taboo, and a lot of parents are not going to have positive attitudes towards children being homosexual. Whereas I do really empathize with you all, at the end of the day, your sexual orientation is always going to be there, and even if you want to change it or not, it is still within you - and please acknowledge these things. I have watched a very good movie called Maurice, where in the movie, there are two males that really like each other. But then, because one person (of a higher level in society) is afraid of how society will treat him when he goes public with his sexuality, he has married a woman. But do you know what happens next? The other man decides to pursue another male, and they end up with a happy life, whereas the man who has decided to marry the woman ends up being unhappy. So the moral of the story is this: please be true to yourself. But again, things are easier said than done, and there is a very high possibility that a person coming out will be met with criticism of peers - and as you know, high school can be an extremely toxic environment. But again, at the end of the day, it is your own self who matters the most - personally, I would rather be true to myself rather than being accepted by others (and I believe that you will think of that way, too). Because of this, if you are exploring your sexual orientation and figure out that you are homosexual, the thing that you need to consider here is about the approach you will take on from this step. I know that this is indeed a very challenging issue (and probably a sensitive one for some people), but I believe that with good tips and careful decisions, you will be able to manage everything.

The first thing that you have to keep in mind is that by coming out, you can not prevent being hated and criticized by certain people. That doesn’t only apply with coming out, though - remember that whatever you do, there are always going to be people who dislike you, even if you are the nicest person on Earth. For example, if you are helping people out, some people are definitely going to call you a fake person. Another example is that when you are talking to a boy or a girl, the people who have a crush on the person you are talking with are going to envy you a lot. So basically, not everyone is going to stand by you, and you have realized this, because then you will be able to approach the problem in an appropriate way.

The next step is to ask yourself this: are you going to be able to tolerate the hatred aimed at you? Personally, I find this very unfair when a lot of people can’t just accept people for who they are, and are going to take different measures to show hatred towards homosexual people. Because of this, you are going to have to be serious with this: can you tolerate it? Can you accept the possibility that your close friends may not want to be associated with you anymore? Can you accept the possibility that your family is not going to accept you coming out? I know that it is getting a bit too serious here, but again, you never know what’s going to happen, so let’s prepare for the worst, shall we? I know that homosexuality can be met with a lot of hatred, but then again, no road is smooth for you to walk on, and if you don’t persevere, then nothing is going to bear fruit. I know that you are going to be able to do it, so please know that there are always going to be people who will support you!

Now comes the hard part: to publicly come out. There are honestly a lot of approaches to this problem. Personally, I would like to start by coming out to your family first, since they are the people who will understand you most. From that stage, start by expressing your sexual orientation through more people - I know that there is going to be hatred, that there is going to be criticism, but you are living for yourself, not for the standard and expectation of other people, remember? I wish you the best in this journey, and I know that you can do it!