There are things you did that you regretted - and that’s okay!

   Okay, so today, let’s talk about something more personal - in life, I know that we have all made mistakes, and we all have done things that we regret (whether this is intentional or not). Well, however bad these things may have been, they have been done, and this means that they can’t ever be undone, right? Because of this, knowing how to build a coping mechanism towards these things is the key to help you move on from the mistake - and today, let’s talk about some steps that you can follow on how you can get over these regrets and continue on living a fulfilling life.

   The first step down this healing path is to validate your feelings. I know that there are things you did that you definitely had regrets over - and realize that it’s okay to make these mistakes. Humans are not born perfect - I bet you that anyone in this life has made at least a mistake, whether it is intentional or not. By making this point, I am not saying that any mistake is reasonable and that you should make more mistakes; but rather, that it is completely fine that you are feeling the way that you are feeling, and that humans are born with flaws. If the feelings of regret and torment keep clinging onto you, the best thing that I can advise you is to journal. You know, you can’t just let everything bottle up, because “if you keep filling something up then eventually it will explode” - by journaling in a notebook or a diary, you are finding a safe space where you can dump everything that is on your head. By doing so, I promise you that you are going to be able to better sort out your feelings and make everything make more sense. And not to forget, by being able to better manage the things that are going on, you can help shape yourself the path that you want to go after the incident, which can help make you move on more easily after what happened.

   During these periods of regrets, I need you to understand one thing: There are things that you can’t undo and that the consequences are there already, so basically, let it be - you can’t change anything anymore, right? If you are miserable, what are you miserable over? Remember, you can’t turn back time - even if you are sad now, you won’t be able to do anything anymore. Because of this, let’s turn this into an opportunity for learning and for you to grow - humans are prone to mistakes, and only by learning from mistakes can we start to become a better person. At the end of the day, it isn’t always all about what you have done, but rather, what you have learned from it, and the things that you have improved upon from this   

   Oh, and remember last week when we were talking about applying Stoicism into your life? The idea of Stoicism can be applied right in this scenario: we can’t control the things that we have done, but what we can do is control what we are feeling and what we are doing after the occurrence of this thing. If you forget what the idea of Stoicism is all about, read this section below to clear up your mind - this section is copied from the post from last week:

   “Alright, so in life, every activity and every action can be separated into 3 types: things you can’t control, things you can control, and things you can control partially. According to Stoicism, with each of these two types of actions, you should deal with them in three different ways. For things that you can’t control, particularly things that other people do towards you, let it be so. Don’t be worried about it, because if you are worried and apprehensive about bad things that can come, then still, you won’t be able to change it, right? On the other hand, thinking too much about things you can’t control will only make you even more stressed out, so if you want to be happy, you should start by not thinking too much about things you can’t control. The next category is things that you can control, specifically things that you do. According to Stoicism, instead of putting your mind towards things you can’t control, direct your attention towards this instead - do the best of your ability towards things that you can manage, because it is exactly you and only you who can influence the results of these kinds of things! And for the last type of activities, we have things that we can control partially - for example, if you are having a group project that needs to be done. With this kind of thing, you need to make plans in advance, because although the result of the work will include the work of other people (and not only you), if you have a proper plan and work well with other people, then you certainly can manage these things well.”