Turn peer pressure into your benefit!

   Alright you guys, so today let’s talk about something that I think you all will be able to relate to, and that is peer pressure! I believe that we have actually touched upon this subject before in some of the previous lessons, but today, let’s look at a different aspect of peer pressure, and see how we can turn peer pressure into your own benefit! Usually, when thinking of peer pressure, you may all associate it with something negative and unwanted, like negative self-talk and a feeling of unworthiness, right? But today, let’s see how we can actually reverse these negative impacts, and look at the way we can turn peer pressure into something that can help you tremendously. 

   As I have probably alluded to several times before, a while ago my Psychology Club (lol, promotion here!) help a meeting with a psychologist, and during the meeting, she has told us something that I can still remember until this day, and it is that no actions have emotions on its own, but rather, it is the feeling that we are pushing towards that thing which is dictating what you feel about it. And when peer pressure occurs, you can push these negative thoughts into your head, that there are people around you that are successful while you are not meeting their level. This is something that I call “bad peer pressure”, and this can have a lot of consequences towards you. When a person feels pressured by another person’s achievements, they may feel unworthy, and as a result, negative self-talk can occur, when you keep telling yourself that you will never be enough in the eyes of others. This kind of negative self-talk can greatly impact your mood, which can reduce your productivity and even make yourself become worse. If this cycle - you hate yourself for not being good enough compared to other people, and then you are not able to focus on working on yourself, which results in you being worse compared to others, and then, again, you feel pressured and hate yourself - continues to happen, this will only lower your productivity even more and more, which is of course something that we don’t like to happen to ourselves, right?

   But on the other hand, since no action has a feeling on its own, but it is rather our feelings that we push into those events, we can actually reverse these negative feelings by having a new perspective on these events, which consequently can make yourself benefit! The first benefit that I think peer pressure can greatly work toward is to make you have a determination to move forward. Let’s be honest you guys, jealousy sometimes works: it can make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable, but it can also make you have a high tendency to catch up and beat the person you are feeling pressured about! The key here is not to compare yourself to someone who is too “out of your league”, but someone who is a bit better than you. By setting a small and achievable goal, we certainly will develop in ourselves an urge to mow ourselves forwards, right?

   In addition to this, instead of thinking of life as a competition, you can use peer pressure into something you can learn from. Whereas I do empathize with those who feel a certain grudge towards someone that is performing better than you, remember that at the end of the day you are not competing against these people (for example, if you are applying for top colleges, you are competing against thousands of applicants around the world), so it’s definitely not worth it if you keep hating the people around you who are better than you. Instead, I see this as an opportunity for you to learn - don’t fear reaching out to these people and seek help! I know that you may feel uncomfortable seeking academic help from your own peers, but if you keep hiding your flaws then at the end of the day, it is only going to harm you. These classmates of yours are going to very valuable resources, where there are brilliant ideas in their minds and you may not have even thought about before. Hence, be nice, be respectful, and always be willing to have an open ear when asking for help from another. By doing this, you can both become better as a person, but also develop tighter relationships with your friends!

   You see, at the end of the day it is your own self that is allocating different emotions towards an event. So instead of feeling unworthy whenever peer pressure occurs, look at it in a different point of view, and from being a negative thing, peer pressure in particular and any other thing in general can become something that will greatly benefit you in the future!